conglomeration

we have bugs in our kitchen. some type of smallish cockroach? man. i keep coming home too late to go to cvs to pick up some poison. and still people leave dishes in the sink for days. don't you think that has something to do with it? i feel weird about asking roommates to wash their dishes. but they're the ones who are super squeamish about it. bah. i think i'll just continue to not spend time at home. i hope they don't come to my room.

i've been thinking about allen. and i only really remember the bad things that happened. can't tell if that's the way i am or if i really just didn't have a good time with him. i find that hard to believe. we did share a lot of great moments over the four years that we've known each other. sigh. still not ready to talk to him yet though. i've been hanging out with this guy who had his heart broken. and i have a weird guilty feeling talking to him about his girl problems because in my mind, i was the girl who crushed the guy. damnit. it really is like talking to allen from an outside perspective, and i know how much allen was hurting. this guy is much more reasonable though....as far as i can tell.

so i ran into the gtown ultimate team on monday as they were leaving the turf and got to thinking about coaching again. today i went to find them on the turf. and lucky me, they were there. i probably watched half an hour of practice, and they spent the entire time doing the same drill. man, it was boring. practice was run by this guy, who i assumed was from the guy's team. i was the sketchy person who looked like a guy watching the girls' frisbee team. anyway, while they were running i introduced myself to one of them (probably injured?) and said i'd be up for throwing and/or helping them out. she seemed eager to get help and even said i could attend practice and scrimmage with them after knowing i was ineligible. so maybe there will be some teaching ultimate for me this year. i'm excited =)

i also ventured out to the new trader joe's that opened nearish by. mmmmm ginger snaps and honey sesame almonds and trail mix and sugar snap peas and i wanted to buy beer, but thought it would be too heavy to carry all the way home (pretty far away). i will go back next time with a car who will drive me home. reminded me of boston. watching the opening scene of Fever Pitch also made me nostalgic. sigh. i miss the beantown.

embryo final coming up soon. i am nervous. too many things to remember. it's all very neat and interesting though. it's amazing how things turn out ok most of the time. but having learned all the things that could go wrong, gives me serious second thoughts about having kids...

before the last test, i was wondering whether i was going to do ok on the test or not. then that led to thoughts about how i had to be on par with the other kids in the program, who had been in the library for the past two weeks 22 out of the 24 hours each day. the curve would be set by them. the whole thing kept snowballing and i had a scary glimpse of competitive premed schooling. yikes.

i can't bring myself to go to sleep. i'll make it up in class. =P