ode to my swiss army knife

when the day came for me to graduate
i arrived at johnson late

they ushered me through the detector
and confiscated my leatherman protector

no longer did i have the silver tool
which made the fool look cool

my life was not the same
without it i was lame

soon light shined upon me
and a replacement came the size of a manatee

its exterior was smooth and firetruck red
its innards filled with function and a moped

still i was skeptical
if it would carry me out of the lull

my doubts were soon answered
and my excited hands quivered

the beautiful red knife
sang out like a fife

when its blade sliced through a peach
one that i devoured on the beach

it opened a can of cytomax
and tightened a jib that was lax

my bed was no match for the saw
and its tweezers pulled a splinter out of a paw

next, the hook opened the shower drain cover
and the file roughened a patch of rubber

the list goes on forever
from fixing skin to bikes to my computer

macgyver would nod his head in approval
and shout "it's incredible!"

i couldn't agree more
and can't wait for the new adventures that come knocking on our door