dreams

once in a while, i have these incredible dreams that are action movie-esque. and the exciting part is that i'm a part of them! last night's dream included some type of war where there was a nuclear bomb involved. it spewed a unique type of radiation everywhere. it wasn't safe to leave the house. my dad was with me. and we were trying to move somewhere safer without getting a huge dose of radiation. i don't remember the details very clearly, but there was definitely a good amount of suspense and excitement. sometimes these dreams are recurring with slight variations. perhaps i will dream about it again. i sometimes wonder where these dreams stem from.

i thought about it more, and i think the radiation dream maybe came as a result of thinking about a family friend who recently was diagnosed with leukemia. i seem to have difficulty truly feeling the severity or the seriousness of the situation. i'm supposed to feel sadness or anxiety or something, but no, i don't really feel anything. i feel bad for the person and their family, then i wonder what they are feeling. i suppose i don't know him that well, and that is why i am emotionally removed. but it seems like i should feel something. anyway, it is troubling.